The Fresh Loaf

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A Born Loser Tells a Tale of Too Many Two’s and the Evil Twin

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dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

A Born Loser Tells a Tale of Too Many Two’s and the Evil Twin

That’s right.  I’m one of the few people who can truthfully say they were born losers.  I am a twin and the second one born.  So, I managed to lose the first race I ever ran and was born in 2nd place – the worst kind of loser.  Luckily, I can’t remember much about my horrible awakening to the outside world that day so long ago, another loss I suppose.  Maybe I’m double, double born loser though.

That’s right a second time.  It is not the end of the terrible two’s that day.  I was also born on the 2nd day, of the 2nd month in a year that was 2 years past 1/2 a century.   I mean there ought to be a law that limits how many two’s a twin can be stuck with on one day don’t you think?

I would love to have back all the money I have bet on 2 and 22 over the years - roulette, lotteries, sports, etc.  #2 has never been kind to born losers like me, but that doesn’t stop us from trying to make it our lucky number.  We are eternal optimists and think things will change after all these years of suffering.  We think we will wake up from this bad dream and be born first and the number 1 has really been kind to us.  But no – it isn’t so – at least not yet.

So to celebrate, at lunch today, my wife and I split a 2 cheese, 2 bread and 2 meat panini with 2 homemade kosher dill pickles and 2 hot condiments, salsa verdi on chips and pickled jalapenos sans seeds.  The 2 breads can be found here :  

White Whole Wheat with Combo YW, Poolish, SD Starter, Water Roux and Wheat Berry Scald

Multi-grain Sourdough Chacon with Olives, Sun Dried Tomato, Garlic, Rosemary and 2 Cheeses

We split one of the 2 sandwiches in two to make 3 sandwiches since I was going to eat 2 of them and there was no really good reason for my wife to go hungry again this time.  . My wife lit 3 candles, one on each sandwich representing one for my brother and 2 for me since I am twice as good him on my worst day – which can be pretty bad come to think about it.

He always was and still is - the Evil Twin.  Most people don’t even know there is always an Evil Twin but, take it from a real Born Loser, you are twice as likely to be the Evil Twin if you were unlucky enough to be born first on that day - a day of too many twos.  Yes, I guess I’m saying my twin is a real Double Doofuss of the Twofuss! 

Happy Birthday Brother - still thinking of you often and kindly but why…. we can’t remember, even though we do forget and forgive at least as easy as any other Born Loser is likely to do – when celebrating the worst day we can remember J

Tonight we will have the panettone birthday cake that is oddly cut in two, with 2 candles.  One candle is for the Evil Twin; the Double Doofuss of the Twofuss and the other is for the Born Loser.

 

I suppose there could be a sadder tale out there somewhere but, it I think will be difficult to duplicate The Tale of Too Many 2’s for Twins.

Comments

gmagmabaking2's picture
gmagmabaking2

Hope your birthday is marvelous and humorous and that you twins, the un-evil one included have a wonderful day! What would be crazy good news is that your twin bakes as well as you and your apprentice do... Sounds like you and your lovely wife had a great celebration. 

and many more!

Diane

gmabaking's picture
gmabaking

to you and your twin too (oops there is another two showing up)  Seems to me that the world is a better place by virture of your being in it so you must have prevailed against those slings and arrows of outrageous fate. Just for fun, you could always tell him that you just found out that there was a mixup and you were in fact the one born first!

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

talking to my Dad yesterday and he said I was born 2 minutes before midnight according to my birth certificate but he swears that I was born after midnight.  He said the doctor didn't think it a good idea for twins to have separate birthdays even though he never talked to him find out the truth.   The grannies, both lived to the age of 94, were proud of all of their grand children and there seemed to be so many of us!  I know we, my brothers and I,  were the better for having been born into the mix rather than out of it.   I have to say that my twin was lucky enough to have married one of the very pretty, rich and famous Clampett girls.  I did envy him that feat.

Thanks for the birthday wishes.  It was a fun day.  

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

brother to wish him happy birthday he was in the process of burning dinner!  He isn't much of a baker but he cooks a lot due his penchant for fire in the kitchen and the resulting forced do overs :-)  We had a fine celebration as my wife got me a ganache and chocolate chip covered, double chocolate fudge cake - m favorite !

Glad you liked the birthday tale and thanks for the birthday wishes.

Faith in Virginia's picture
Faith in Virginia

Let me be the second to wish you a happy birthday.

and many more

Faith

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

Can't wait to see how your latest refurbished piece of bakery equipment comes out.  What a project!

Happy baking!

SylviaH's picture
SylviaH

I just want to know 'who's the best looking twin' 'lol' ?  Looks like it was great party and loved the story of 2.  

 This is a two's month...two of my grandkids are having birthday's this month...one will be 21 and the other 16...remember those days :)

Happy Birthday :)

Sylvia

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

My brother was senior class President and I was WPA King.  He liked politics and the girls liked me.......... as much as I liked them :-)  He's still pretty ugly (a great combination of words) come to think about it!    Nothing wrong with two's in my book, as your grand kids show,  so long as you don't lose money on them like I do.    Being a Twin is so much easier when you are young and so mucb harder when you get older.

Until we went away to college the two of us were really one person 'The Twins' and we relied on each other to do the things we each did best and share the results and rewards.  Then, all of the sudden, we went off to separate colleges where we both quickly found out neither of us was a whole and complete person.  We each lacked many important individual skills and attributes .  We were instantly much less than half what we used to be as 'The Twins.'  Those were difficult times personally but they sorted themselves out eventually for me - if not for my twin :-) 

The fine birthday is now behind me but, the story of the 2's continues.....

Happy baking Sylvia!

isand66's picture
isand66

Happy birthday DA!  You may have lost the battle but I'm sure you're winning the war :0

I wish you many more and look forward to following your further adventures.

Best

Ian

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

You would be correct!  The war is long over as I accepted his surrender years ago.   Not that we were ever competive or anything like that - he was just less determined to give up than I was !

My apprentice figures we only have another 10,000 breads left to bake, so we will around a while longer :-)

I see you have another interesting  bread posted today that I have to check out.  Making Pizza today with an overnight  biga using commercial yeast.  I'm guessing about 50% of American Fresh Lofians, and some Canadians, are making pizza today!

Happy baking

isand66's picture
isand66

Glad you had a great birthday...that cake sounds good enough to eat for a whole meal.

Enjoy your pizza. 

Best.
Ian

varda's picture
varda

the sorrow and the pity or

the agony and the ecstasy or

...

Happy Birthday  Happy Birthday

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

Thanks twice by half Varda.  My wife said I could come to your TFL meet and greet at the end of March if she could come too.  That sort of ruined it for me but I might just send her instead :-)

Happy Baking Varda. 

varda's picture
varda

You are only going if she doesn't want to go.   And if she does, then she can go herself?   Is that it?   (Outraged wives of the world unite!)  -Varda  :>(    ok    :-)

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

has been telling me is wrong?  My German isn't that good but I think she says that the prefect marriage is where you live apart and take separate vacations.  You just can't trust anyone anymore :-)

I'll let you know if we are coming pretty soon.

isand66's picture
isand66

That will be awesome DA if you can make it!

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

I really can't go unless my wife says it is OK or comes with me.  She said she hasn't been to Boston and would like to go there  Ids that where we would fly in?  Or is there a closer airport?    She already lives with a crazed bread fiend and I'm not sure she wants to meet any more - if they are like me :-)  I figure If she doesn't want to go to TFL meet and greet,  I can leave her to do her thing somewhere in Boston?  I know I would bring some dark bread of some kind and some pate to put on it.  My wife had a cousin that lived in Boston but I don't know if they moved or not. 

We shall see.

breadsong's picture
breadsong

Happy belated birthday!
:^) breadsong

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

I hope all goes well with you and yours and I found some old doilies to play with too - thanks to you.   Look forward to your next post! 

Happy baking

FlourChild's picture
FlourChild

Happy Birthday!  Thanks for the smiles, your post title sounds like it would make a good book title :)

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

book title and book too - than having to live through it :-)  I can't complain.  Lives are full of the good and bad, the ying and yang, the ups and downs .......  It is better to remember and savor the good,  laugh in the face of the bad and forget all about the nasty part.  Someone, I wish I knew who, said - There can be no love without humor! 

Thanks for the Birthday wishes FlourChild - look forward to your next post.

Oddly the spell checker likes yang just fine but has a problem with ying for some reason.  Empress Ying will not be pleased - or amused:-)

Happy baking,

catlick's picture
catlick

Happy birthday to the cuter brother!

doughingly yours,

Wendy

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

for the Birthday greetings.

I was in the food business for many years And there were all kinds of libilities concerning perishable goods be they fruits, vegitables refrigerated and fozen.  We couldn't sell anything  to our customes that had less thn 2 weeks code date left on it but we also couldn't donate it to food banks because if someone got sick from it we could be sued, so all over the country companies were throwing away tons of good food every day.  We thought that this was stupid with so many hungry people in America.  But we didn't give up either.

We eventually lobbied through our trade groups to have a national  law passed that absolved us of any blame when we gave food away to food banks.  Now this food is donated instead of trashed and folks aren't a s hungry as they once were.

I know you don't have a trade group but the Farmer'smarket needs to know that  they will kill someone long before a loaf of bread does.  You should give it another shot and explain to them the facts.  If that doesn't work I think you need to find a reporter of some kind who will explain your side to shame these fools into being sane.   It has always been produce, meat and dairy that kill people - never ever bread  - not once.

Good Luck

catlick's picture
catlick

You're like a funny bread angel!

dabrownman's picture
dabrownman

I like the 'Funny Bread Angel' tag.    My apprentice can be be a surly little devil on occasion though.  But that could be good.  If taken together and appraised as one person, we might be considered normal - if the world was strange enough :-)

catlick's picture
catlick

Well, my world is...