I am so sad

I have killed my starter. Yes it's a goner mold across the top and um im not sure what kind of bug was starting to grow. The smell almost knocked me out! I had it for 7 months and each loaf was getting better and better. I have since started another one same method as before PJ Juice and Rye flour I am currently on day 4 and feel like it will be light years before I can bake again. One change I will make is this time I will store it in the fridge and just plan ahead a bit more. I was leaving it on the counter and feeding almost everyday but was baking often. My sister was dx'd with breast cancer and its been a whirlwhind and I neglected my little pet for what I thought was only a week but that week turned into 3. Could be worse but still feel bad...