The Fresh Loaf

News & Information for Amateur Bakers and Artisan Bread Enthusiasts

I'mTheMami and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad

I'mTheMami's picture

I'mTheMami and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad



I almost (almost) decided not to have this be my first blog. Then I thought... Perhaps there is someone else out there having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. We all know misery loves company, and since this day was actually yesterday I can now view it as amusing. 


First... see loaf above. Photo is worth a 1000 words, right? 

Second, I must note- from the get go this loaf has been destined for a amusing demise. The recipe I used called for a touch of added commercial yeast, as the author notes the addition of cocoa powder affects the rise. When I went to the store to buy yeast... They informed me they don't carry it anymore. What kind of grocery store (size of a walmart) that I have actually pirchased yeast from before, just stops carrying it?


the recipe I followed can be found here -

i have followed the recipe before, in modified form before I had a starter and was using a method similar to the Artisan Bread in 5 min a Day .  It turned out really well then. 

I finally find yeast. Prepare dough. Skip the overnight fridge step, as my fridge isn't set up at the moment. It may have risen too quickly, I realize that now. 

Husband sets his phone on top of the rising loaf (which is in a bowl and covered by a floured towel.)

i finally get to preheat the oven. Takes a good 35 minutes (thats a lot of gas!) ... And then our power goes off for 20 minutes. My oven shuts down (it is gas but electric controlled oven, GE Cafe) . When power comes back on, re-preheat oven. 

Place glass baking dish under loaf to prepare for steam. Allow to preheat with the baking stone and oven.  Put on long sleeved sweater and tell children to stand back - even take a moment to explain steam and its dangers etc etc. Open oven, pour water in baking dish. Room temperature water. Which shatters my baking dish into pieces.


I almost laughed at that point. Almost. Children amazed, and of course now CONVICNED at how dangerous "steam" is. I forge on. 

Slide dough into oven after a slashing reminiscent of Texas Chainsaw Murderer

Bake for 45 minutes. Completely , 100% forget to come back to the oven half way through to turn down oven.  Baked at 525 degrees for 30 minutes until my brain (and nose) tell me something has been forgotten. 

Turn off oven. Went to bed and cried to my two toddlers who told me my bread was still pretty. Stopped crying when I realized, its just bread.

My heart melted in the morning when they insisted on eating every last bite of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad bread. I guess everything tastes ok with Nutella on it. 

(Editted to add- what a hilarious coincidence! I hit save without meaning toin the middle of my blog. Am editting to finish as you read. )


Floydm's picture

I've done most of those things -- shatter a hot Pyrex pan trying to create steam, mangle the bejeezus out of my loaf while scoring it, forget to turn the oven down from an insanely hot temperature -- but I don't think I've done them all at once!

Look at the bright side: maybe you are getting all your mess ups out of the way on this single loaf rather than spreading them out over a half dozen loaves.  It's the scape loaf.

Better luck next time!

I'mTheMami's picture

I like thhe thought of a scape loaf, way go find a silver lining :) thanks for the encouragement! I did, at the very least, use my started in good ways this week. Some simple sourdough pancakes and KA s sourdough carmelized onion biscuit rcipe both turned out really well! 



isand66's picture
isand66 least your cat didn't walk across your dough as it was rising :).

Keep at it and you will get better results the more you bake.


I'mTheMami's picture

Thanks Ian! has that happened to you? Too hilarious (maybe it wasnt at the time, but looking back prhaps?) thankfully our dog doesnt do counters and the two turtles are too wittle (and not agile enough) to get on the counter. Good thing, pan ala salmonella isnt really my slice of pie. 



isand66's picture

I have 5 cats so it has happened a couple of times :).  Nothing like a little paw print on my least they were covered so I didn't get any bonus fur topping!

grind's picture

My heart melted in the morning when they insisted on eating every last bite of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad bread.

I'mTheMami's picture

Yes, its true. being sad isnt really a viable option when your housemates include a 2 year old and a 3.5 yr old. At least THEY think you are always the best, even when you fail big time. They also at some less than fluffy biscuits this morning (tried a different recipe than the KA one I reference above) with smiles on their faces. 


:) thanks for commenting.