Season's Eatings

Season's Eatings

A poem by my sister, Ann

First: Off work for thirty days
I started on a baking craze;
And day-old pastries at my house
were planted by my thoughtful spouse.
"Oh, I'll stop eating like a slob
the minute that I get a job!"
But first: Thanksgiving! Devil day!
It's pumpkin pie, what can I say?
Then my new boss provided See's
(their presence was a daily tease),
And brought us Starbuck's treats as well!
The waistline started going to hell.
But wait, there's more! My new work-mate
brought coffee cake, plate after plate.
Virtuously I skipped the 'nog --
What do you think I am, a hog?
Then Christmas Eve came - oh the horror!
I'm eating more, and More, and MORE!
Mom's dense fudge and pumpkin bread
and chocolate cake with cherries red
and dips and chips and chocolate mint,
some cookies that my brother sent,
one by one, all down the hatch
but oh I knew there'd be a catch....

This morning I approached the scale
like one anticipating jail,
my eyes cast down to meet my fate,
Just how had gluttony changed my weight?
EIGHT POUNDS I'VE GAINED THIS HOLIDAY!
it's time the piper had his pay;
No more sugar, salt, or fat,
I've clearly had enough of that;
I'd better find Weight Watcher's meetings
to counteract my season's eatings.
And next year can we all agree
to celebrate with herbal tea?
I won't work hard at getting thin --
in ten months to "re-treat" again!

--Ann Clark