The Dangers of Bread...Bread Humor or Reality???

What worries me as I dry the tears from my eyes, is that someone just might think these are valid associations!   Oh my side hurts! 

Thanks Robert for the laugh!  Made my special day! 

Mini

The only non-humourous thing about bread is that, eating too much of it makes one fat, which is very unhealthy.  It has been said that  what goes on the bread is what one needs to worry about.  That may be true but eating a whole loaf every day is not a good thing. One or two slices a day of one's home baked bread gives pleasure and a quick walk around the block will get rid of the calories.  One has to do a lot of daily exercise or have a job involving hard physical labour to work off the calories in a whole loaf of bread. I love bread but it's like chocolate, one has to cultivate resistance. Not easy, but it can be done, says me with my mouth taped shut!

....hillariously written in my opinion.  And....the article didn't even mention that all the holes in that bread were full of deadly carbon dioxide.  The horrors of it all.

Yes, hilarious!

It's easily as wonderful as the handout about vitamins that was being circulated about 5 years before everyone was on the internet. I WISH I could find a copy. The essence of the flyer was that chocolate, cream and butter were very good for you because any food beginning with the letter C was full of vitamin C and any food beginning with the letter B was full of vitamin B. (There was something about how great Oreos were because not only are they Cookies but they're Chocolate Cookies so really full of vitamin C)

When I first saw "The Dangers of Bread" (sent to me via email), there was a 6th step in the recommended restrictions section - making it impossible to think even for a second that it was for real:

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. No advertising of bread within 1000 feet of a school.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. A $4.2 zillion fine on the three biggest bread manufacturers.
6. Pass LAWS!! Remember the Control Freaks' Credo: "Shoot First, Get Understanding Later" (Coerce FIRST; Persuade LATER — if at all).

Please notify everyone you know who might care about this crucial issue.

Remember: Think globally; reason rectally; act idiotically.

Also see:
Urban Legends Reference Pages - The Dangers of Bread
Goldstein, David. "Smell of Baked Bread May Be Health Hazard." The Cincinnati Enquirer. 16 August 1998 (p. A7).

-Elizabeth

P.S. If anyone has a copy of the cookies are good for you flyer, I'd love to see it!