Hi Chauslubao

     This is a good start. If this were converted to weight and bakers percentages, I believe the hydration level might be at about 52%. Kind of low. Based on about 4 1/2 oz per cup of flour and 8 oz per cup of water plus 1 1/3 oz for 4 TBSP. Depending on what kind of bread you are trying to represent here, 57% - 59% might be more appropriate. 1 1/4 cups plus 1 TBSP - 1 1/2 cups  plus 1 tsp.  I haven't used active dry yeast in many years but I believe water temps as high as 110 - 114 deg are recommended. I find that hot tap water is usually hot enough to ferment and proof dough if using oven chamber!

John

If all the numbers are whole numbers, why use a decimal?  Easier to read  4 Cups, 1 Cup etc.

as a definite amateur, i want to thank you for these postings. i just stumbled across them & have been reading, thinking and making notes. your writings are quite inspirational for the casual bread baker.  thank you.

Hi.

in my opinion fats should always be added last (when the dough has already formed) bevause when they touch the flour they form lumps that take longer to loose. As long as fats are in small amounts, as in your case, you may not see a difference, but if you use more fats you could incur into troubles.

Gluten forms  with water and flour, thus anything that hinders it formation (like fats) should  be added only when gluten is already well developed.

Title of Recipe

This is a little recipe (introduction) I came across you all might enjoy, it's easy and quick to throw together and the chance of failure is small if you follow the easy steps.  Serves 10,  2 hours of preparation and ready in 4 hours.

• ingredients
• more ingredients
• another cup (maybe fresh)
• and yet another
• and another (optional) 

Here is where you can choose how to organize the outline using words such as Prepare, Mix, Bake etc.  (Notes are added to the end of the recipe, your own experiences)  You decide if you want to number the steps like below or simple write in a paragraph style.

1. Prepare bla bla bla.  Butter and flour a 9 x 13 inch pan or line with baking parchment paper.  Pre heat oven to 230°C (450°F.)  All the preparation stuff in the beginning so you don't have to drop everything. 
2. Melt butter and measure out ingredients separately. 
3. Set a small pot of water to boil.  Use to warm the oven if temperatures in your kitchen are below 22°C (72°F.)

Maybe add a space between preparation and mixing.  Nice touch!

1. Mix.  In a large bowl mix flour... until...
2. Then add some more ingredients stirring slowly or with the mixer on high. 
3. Add more steps if needed. 
4. Combine steps that tend to belong close together for easier reading.  Describe how the dough should feel.
5. Form in a bla bla or retard to a bla bla or skip this step and go to baking. Use a press test (poke the thing gently until a slight dent remains.)  
6. Bake 40 minutes in a hot 230°C (450°F) oven, middle (lower or top) shelf with steam.  Steam for 12 minutes.  More baking instructions if needed.
7. Remove to a rack to cool.   Serve immediately or Let cool. Cover and rest 2 days before cutting if special instructions are needed.  Cut with bread knife into 1 inch slices.

Notes: The pan seemed too small pan, so I used a larger one 12 x 15 inch.  No thermometer?  Use your finger, bla bla bleep.  The Bla Bla seemed too strong but if served with strong coffee, it's excellent!.  The top seemed to brown quickly so half way thru the bake, I reduced the oven temp to 180°C (350°F).  The recipe can easily be done ahead of time and frozen for up to two weeks.  That kind of stuff belongs down here.

That is one format, there are more.  Most want to see the ingredients and amounts listed and easy to read.  Photos can come just about anywhere, during step by step or the finished picture at the top with the title.  There is a lot of freedom but it should be easy to read thru quickly and easy to relocate your place when interrupted.  Make it interesting to read and have fun!

Mini

Hi Chausiubao,

Thanks for preparing this and presenting it for feedback.

Well here's my feedback. The first part is from me as a novice baker; the second part is from me as a text editor.

As a new baker I like to have an idea of the size or weight of the loaf I will be baking. I also like to know the hydration. In both cases this gives me some idea in advance of how the dough will handle. I find it best, then, if this information is at the beginning of the text.

in this case, I think it would be good to signal at the beginning that this is a recipe for rolls and that it will yield around 16 of x weight or size. Perhaps could you also offer advice on how to form this dough into either rolls or a loaf? This is something I've seen done with other recipes and found useful.  I may be wrong but at present the fact that it is a roll recipe doesn't seem to become clear until step 10.

I think it it would also help to include a brief explanation of how to shape rolls. Your instructions leap from dividing the dough to laying it on parchment 'seam side down'. However an explanation of the interim steps would be really useful, particularly for a beginner. I had no idea about 'seams' in dough when I started out.

You seem to have a long chain of conversions - grams to ounces; weight to volume. I've tried to convert the other way - cups to grams and found it hard to keep the formula stable. This also seems to have happened here initially with hydration. I am a beginner but prefer to deal with weights. If you've done the conversions already can you give equivalents, as some recipe books do now?

You ask for a critique of your writing. I think Mini offers very sound advice on laying out information. It is also useful to have a set layout for recipes if you are ever thinking of publishing them or even communicating them informally to other bakers. Perhaps you already have a preferred layout? Speaking as an editor it is a nightmare to have to try to standardize a large number of texts that are laid out differently. Different bakers, editors and publishing houses will have different ways of presenting information on formulae and procedure. It is worth looking at the different formats used by bakers for their own use and by editors for publication. You should also be able to ask publishing houses for their recipe style sheets.

It's obviously good to have a memorable title to start with - just think how often recipes and formulae are referred to by their title alone on TFL, 'Vermont Sourdough', 'Susan's Simple Sourdough' etc.

You seem to be asking if a range of people could understand your instructions or if it they are too technical? I don't think the language you use is too technical. Most of your description of procedure is very clear and to the point. This comes across particularly well  in the part where you describe how to feel when the dough is ready 'You will know the dough is finished...gluten has settled'. Here you describe a complex process very succinctly and show you have thought about non-technical ways in which a beginner could sense dough readiness.

There are a few technical terms that you use that I think would be hard for a beginner to understand. For example instead of saying 'to prevent oxidation' could you say something comparable but simpler, like 'to prevent moisture loss'? 

I think there are other terms such as 'gluten', that are technical but which a beginner would come across more regularly in bread recipes. In those cases it would be useful to 'gloss' the term (that is add a simpler explanation of it), the first time it is used. For example 'the gluten (the mix of proteins whose development allows dough to stretch), has settled'.

One general observation would be that your step by step explanation of 'Procedure' is much clearer than your initial 'Notes'. (You do, however, need to sort out the numbering of 'Procedure' so that there are not two stage 6's. Don't worry - we've all done this when adding a stage to an earlier draft!). If you are thinking of 6 being two stages you could put 6a, 6b, but 6,7 would still be clearer.

'Procedure' is clearer than 'Notes' because you break the individual steps into shorter sentences. It is common for first drafts of documents to have sentences in them that would be clearer if broken into two or more. This is easily sorted out by looking at obvious breaks and adding in more full stops. So for example

Instant yeast can be mixed directly in with the flour, bread machine yeast works, but if all you can get is active dry yeast use 1.5 tablespoons, and proof it in water with some sugar first, it should bubble (use some of the water you have measured for the bread).

becomes

Instant yeast can be mixed directly in with the flour. Bread machine yeast also works. If all you can get is active dry yeast, use 1.5 tablespoons. Proof it in water with some sugar first. It should bubble. Use some of the water you have measured for the bread to do this.

This is a simple but very important change of style you could use to make the 'Notes' clearer. Readers tend to runs long sentences together as one unit of information. If such sentences contain more than one set of instructions readers may miss this. This is also more likely to occur when readers are less familiar with the subject. When one sentence contains one key point or instruction, or one key point with minor qualifications, this is less likely to happen

Well I hope this feedback is of some use. I've been precise because editing is a specialism for me and because it seemed that you were asking for direct feedback on the technicality and clarity of your wording. Baking isn't my specialism - wait for my beginner's questions on that front!

Best wishes for the development of this project. It is really good to be thinking of recipes that would get a range of people baking.

Kind regards,  Daisy_A