Song Of A Baker - Why I Am Who I Am
I find myself on a rare occasion of being bored, having no work to do and no bread to bake or post. Perhaps a good opportunity to share a little about my journey to bread baking.
Little did I know at the time, but the 'knead' to make bread was deeply rooted within my creative core long ago...
From the time I was in my early teens (good god, about 23 years ago! I've always dreaded math), I had a creative drive within me that was itching to get out. Luckily for me, my parents were willing and able to put me through music lessons. I started out with piano and keyboards then moved onto the organ. At this time, I was discovering the magic of classic rock and roll. Listening to such bands as Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, The Doors, to name a few. I spent hours upon hours in my room, rewinding and listening and learning all those organ solos on my Hammond organ and Leslie speaker combo. To this day I can still play the entire organ solo to Light My Fire by the Doors, even though I only touch a keyboard maybe once every 2-3 years. A few good friends and school mates started a band. I took the lead singer role and keyboards. By the time we were 15, we played our first gig at a local club in downtown Vancouver. Quite an experience to have at 15. Even though we were so young, the bar tender offered us a few drinks each (parents approved of course), All 4 of us hard rock and rollers ordered peach coolers. Not beer. Peach coolers. Very rock and roll *ahem*. Soon after, we recorded our first cassette tape of about 5 or 6 songs. By the time junior high ended we disbanded and I took up a new instrument. The guitar.
In high school, when we were about 17, we started another band that would turn out to be a major part of my life for the next 7 years. We had a good following, released an album that received some good reviews, appeared on a local TV show which aired quite a bit across Canada. We were selling out shows and headlining in the most popular night clubs on weekends. At one show, The Bare Naked Ladies gave us a standing ovation and wanted to meet us backstage. This was too surreal at our age. I was going to college and working by day, and playing shows at night. I was having the time of my life. My creative juices were flowing and were being spread out to family, friends and strangers to experience and enjoy.
In 1997, a few members decided to call it quits and it was the end of my music life, at least to that degree. Over the years, I continued to pick up the guitar every once in a while, or go to a local music shop and play a piano for a few minutes. It just wasn't the same. By this time, I had a business degree behind me so I started working full time in management positions I was not happy with. I did this for the next 6 years or so. About 7 years ago I was given the opportunity to come aboard my father's painting contracting business, so I took it. The position in the company proved to be stressful, challenging and more time consuming than I could ever imagine. Here I am. A manager in a high volume construction industry contracting company. Nothing remotely close to an avenue that would allow ANY creativity to flow out of me. It has been a very difficult last 7 years mentally and emotionally.
Last summer, I was at a cross roads. Take over the business from my retiring father the next year, or move on and do...well, I still don't know what. Due to the frightening unknown, I chose the former. At that exact time, there was a major project contract I had bid on. The bidding process was extremely gruelling and took a lot out of me mentally and physically. I landed in the emergency room with exhaustion. We needed this project. Badly. Not knowing if we landed the project or not, I had to get away for a week and try to recoup. It was then, on that trip that I walked by a bakery cafe and was drawn to the artisan made breads stacked in the window. I always loved and appreciated bread. The comforting texture and flavour and look. This feeling and urge was new to me though. I suddenly wanted to be part of the creation of this magnificent display in the window. The bakers in the shop were rock stars in my eyes. I wanted to ask them questions and talk to them about the process of baking bread. All these crazy urges, all within 5 minutes of seeing those beautiful boules, baguettes and batards. I did not talk to the bakers, and I did not get their autographs. Nor did I buy any bread. I did however, come home from that trip learning that we did in fact get awarded the contract that we so much needed for the business. But I still did not feel what I felt walking past that bakery.
That weekend I spent hours reading articles about bread and searching web pages dedicated to home bread baking. Is it possible for one to learn how to make breads at home such as the ones I saw in the window of that bakery? Don't you need years and years of schooling? What about all the equipment? Surely one would need to spend $10,000 + on an oven, no? I stumbled on The Fresh Loaf and started reading blogs and forums as a non-member. My questions were quickly answered that yes, it is possible that I could learn how to make bread at home. Having never touched my hands on bread dough before in my life, I began to bake bread. I felt that passion rise up again. I was feeling something I had only felt when I picked up my guitar and wrote music those years ago. This is what I needed so badly in my life. An outlet for all that stress I deal with at my work. Something to once again create and share with those important to me.
Yes, I decided to take over the family business. Of course there is always the satisfaction of feeling proud in keeping my parent's hard work and determination all those years alive going into the future. But other than that and possible financial opportunity, there is nothing more that this career will ever give me in what I truly need to flourish. Baking bread however, has given me a creative outlet that I craved all those years after the music stopped. A creative process where I can once again be part of from start to finish. To make, to feel, to share. To enjoy. Music it is not, but it is a song of the baker.
Here is a link to one of the bands that influenced our music, The Posies. This is a great rendition of 'Song Of A Baker,' a song by classic rock's Small Faces. I found it quite fitting to use a tag name inspired by a song that I loved long before I ever imagined I would be baking bread. For all you rock and roll aficionados, turn up your speakers and enjoy:
There's wheat in the field
And water in the stream
And salt in the mine
And an aching in me.
I can longer stand and wonder
Cos I'm driven by this hunger.
So I'll jug some water, bake some flour,
Store some salt and wait the hour.
When thinking of love,
Love is thinking for me
And the baker will come
And the baker I'll be
I'm depending on my labour,
The texture and the flavour
I can no longer stand and wonder
Cos I'm driven by this hunger
So I'll jug some water, bake some flour.
Store some salt and wait the hour.