The Fresh Loaf

News & Information for Amateur Bakers and Artisan Bread Enthusiasts

Bread frustration! not my fault edition

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ActiveSparkles's picture
ActiveSparkles

Bread frustration! not my fault edition

Looking for peoples stories about failed loaves that weren't your fault!

Why do I ask? Because if I don't vent my frustration somewhere, I am going to crack my own skull open against the oven door.

I made a fantastic loaf today! I tried a new shaping method that worked really well for me, as my shaping usually results in an uneven mess of a thing. Popped it in the oven, happily awaiting my loaf to appear amazingly shaped and well.
Couple of minutes in to cooking, someone in my house asks if they can use the oven- "fine, just watch the bread."

I assumed they would use a different shelf! oh how wrong one person can be. They put a pot with a sharp edge right next to my bread, which at this point was still benefiting from a healthy dose of oven spring. Well, you can see where this is going I hope. I now have a loaf which is painfully deflated on one side and well risen and browned on the other.

End of pain!
Thanks for listening TFL brothers and sisters.

Share your pain

Charlie

thomaschacon's picture
thomaschacon (not verified)

The crawfish pies didn't fail, per se, but the fact that it took me several tries to get the pie crusts right would qualify as a failure.

Taking them out of the oven and leaving them on the edge of the counter to cool, however, certainly does qualify, as I returned 10 minutes later to discover that my roommate's Doberman pincher approved of my efforts, eating every single one of them.

Crawfish pies made of 3 lbs of crawfish priced at $18/lb turned to dogfood!

Oh the shame!

Conjuay's picture
Conjuay

Now that you've gotten the pie crust perfected, it's time to try a new filling, -doberman.

(But be careful; they can be nastier than crawdads...)

My own cross to bear is sourdough. Mix it up, knead it up, shape it, and then throw it away; why waste the energy preheating and baking it? It's going to be dreadful anyway.

 

thomaschacon's picture
thomaschacon (not verified)

That would be hilarious.

Think they'd sell?

loydb's picture
loydb

At a bbq one summer many years ago, an entire beef tenderloin was left with Labrador reach unattended. We came back into the kitchen to see a Lab with a hugely swollen belly looking very sheepish when asked about it...

 

 

EvaB's picture
EvaB

ever made was a failure in some way, some mine some out of my hands! I think I'm a bread klutz, but I'm going to keep trying!

Worst failure was the strawberry jam in the crock pot, followed the recipe to a T, the jam was not jam exactly, more like way overcooked deeply darkened strawberry gum! Don't know if it was the pot, the recipe, or my electricity was better than the writers! It wasn't bad tasting, but it certainly wasn't spreadable.

GrapevineTexas's picture
GrapevineTexas

but one of the more memorable had to be my first round of recipe testing.  I spritzed water into the oven to create some steam, and *POOF* there went the heating element!  My heart broke; how could I submit anything if the oven was no more?  .... but you know how we baker's are, a determined sort of folk, I set about to do the bake via the toaster oven, submitting my result and noting the 'wing-ing' it of my ways.  

I hope you slather a whole bunch of butter on that bread.  Enjoy the Dickens out of it!  I'll bet it's delicious.  :)

HeidiH's picture
HeidiH

Never, ever follow a recipe that uses the duck's liver in the gravy unless you have a garbage disposal.  I speak from experience.